FearLiss Ramblings

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

The greatest gift, the highest price

It's so beautiful out here, every time I come I feel compelled to write... It's like my brain can disentangle its neurons.

I feel so dirty in the city; such a hypocrite; trapped.

Out here there is freedome to breathe and think. I can hear the blowies zzzzZZZZZzzzzz past my ear, madly chasing the next patch of filth. It's like being at a RAAF airbase for flies!

I feel my whole body unravells out here. My stomach unclenches, my eyebrows stop frowning with effort to block out the endless noise arising from the city.

Oh, this is great peace. It is me, it is in me. It is my love beyond others.

********

A butterfly alights on a rock, sunning, drying newfound wings - a gifted jewel beyond estimation for the lowly, belly-rubbing caterpillar. Oh to fall asleep and awake with an iridescent, varicoloured gift of flight. Is that not the greatest gift of all? The ultimate freedom...

And yet, as with all beauty, so heavy is the price. The butterfly lives but a few days, and then it returns to the earth. Is this the lesson for us? You may have Nirvana, your heart's desire, but there is always an equal price.

So true - with love. The blissful, intoxicating, all consuming feeling; it is truly the greatest feeling of all. The cost though, is inevitable heartache.

The pain of separation from that which is loved is beyond words, for the love becomes a way of being - it is the skin, the body, the physical and psychological self through which the lover exists. How then can it be a surprise that when this is removed, the person is bereft of all but rudimentary functioning?


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